Office supply fanatics are a diverse group. From the engineer in San Jose to the illustrator in Sao Paolo, they are united by a common language of brands, point sizes, and ink formulas.
Similarly to how the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator divides personalities into 16 types, I’ve divided pen lovers into 8 essential categories. Which one describes you most accurately?
People shouldn’t ask you “Lamy or Kaweco?” unless they’re prepared for a substantial lecture on the merits of each brand. The idea of confining your pens to a single pen holder is laughable, and you devote considerable resources to developing storage solutions that showcase your collection properly. You have a deep interest in everything about pens, from the way they write to the company that manufactured them.
Famous Collectors: Ash Ketchum
Likely to Own: Lamy 2000 Fountain Pen
You just love gadgets of any kind. You funded Pen Type-A on Kickstarter, frequently read product manuals, and optimize your browser settings on a weekly basis. Upon receiving an order, you immediately take the pens apart, survey the innards, and put them back together. Your sincerest desire is to visit outer space and use the Fisher Space Pen to its fullest potential.
Famous Techies: Steve Wozniak
Likely to Own: Zebra Sharbo X Multi Pen System
According to every job listing ever posted, companies want nothing more than someone that is “detail-oriented.” That’s you. OK, so you care a little too much about toilet paper orientation and refuse to use the dishwasher because it “doesn’t get everything clean”...but you’ve elevated color coding into an art form, and your handwriting belongs in the Helvetica font family.
Famous Perfectionists: Steve Jobs
Likely to Own: Pilot Hi-Tec-C Gel Ink Pens
The barista at Starbucks knows your order by heart, your haircut hasn’t changed since you were a teenager, and you’ve used the same pen for the last 20 years. Your motto: don’t fix what isn’t broken. You know your preferences, and see no reason to waste time experimenting once you’ve found something that satisfies your exact specifications.
Famous Monogamists: John Adams
Likely to Own: Parker IM Liquid Ink Roller Ball Pen
Class is prime doodling time. You like to be prepared with a small puddle of Sharpies at the bottom of every backpack. Your main collection is at home, haphazardly strewn about several shoeboxes, and is periodically retrieved for doodling on: shoes, skateboards, shirts, road signs, and bathroom walls. You like to color outside the lines, and you don’t discriminate between different types of media. If it makes a mark, you’ll draw with it.
Famous Scribblers: Banksy
Likely to Own: Staedtler Triplus Fineliner Marker Pens
When making a decision, you consult the mighty Google. You meticulously CTRL+F through several pages in forum threads, just to see what a stranger thinks about the nib performance of a fountain pen. Sometimes your opinions sound a little too much like the news article you just read, but otherwise you’re excellent at making observations and compiling data.
Famous Researchers: Charles Darwin
Likely to Own: Uni-ball Jetstream Ballpoint Pen
You have a finely-tuned, elite collection of pens that have zero mass appeal. You prefer Field Notes to Moleskine, and once made a feather quill to journal with. Ambitious, clever, and almost too self-aware, you tend to procure unique informational tidbits that make you seem like an expert in the field. Oh, and you sharpen your wooden pencils with a pocket knife. While twirling your mustache.
Famous Hipsters: Andy Warhol
Likely to Own: Field Notes Color Cover Memo Book - National Crop Limited Edition
You can’t quite bring yourself to throw away the capless Bic pen you accidentally swiped from a classmate nine months ago. Yes, you have a wide collection of pens, but unlike the Collector's... most of yours are not functional. Because they have sentimental value, you give them prime real estate in your desk drawer. “I might be able to use this someday” is your mantra.
Famous Hoarders: That guy you saw on Hoarders last week
Likely to Own: 6 capless Gelly Roll Pens
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